This is Henry P. Smellyfut.
NASCAR is a little known condiment application system.
Creation[]
Henry P. Smellyfut was at a company picnic in the late 20th century when he got tired of having to squeeze equal amounts of ketchup and mustard from two different containers while balancing his two hot dogs on a paper plate along with a Pepsi and a small pile of napkins.
It was then that he set out to find a better solution. The result: NASCAR, which stands for Nearly Automatic Simple Condiment Application and Regulator.
The device is basically an oval with 43 distribution "cars" which continually drive around the oval, with seemingly no purpose other than to be the first "car" to dump either a bit of ketchup or mustard out of the oval.
Effectiveness[]
Some of the NASCAR application "cars" tend to move around the oval too fast and inevitably crash causing some disruption to the flow, but overall, the NASCAR invention is pretty effective.
No longer does Mr. Smellyfut, or anyone else who enjoys NASCAR, have to balance his/her picnic lunch plate while risking disaster with condiments. They just use NASCAR, and enjoy the afternoon.
Quotes[]
| “Always make sure that NASCAR is not used when above 200 degrees Farenheit.” |
| ~ Henry P. Smellyfut, When asked for advice on how to use NASCAR |